the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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