That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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