it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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