matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
