my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
