just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
