that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
