My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
