Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize