I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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