ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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