Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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