Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
