I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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