Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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