Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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