Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's like iHOP with fire
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
