covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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