Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
