dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
