why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
