Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
