someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
