It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
did you just send me my own nude
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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