He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
