Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I cockslap morals
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
