yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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