I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
