thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
