Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Semen is not good for contacts.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
