3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize