Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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