Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
