This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
