last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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