Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
