it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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