Quick, to the slutcave!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
