Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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