Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel like death gave me a hand job
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize