Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
