oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
