I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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