You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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