..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
