they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
