Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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