Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
