my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
