Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
