Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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