wrigley field is MILF paradise
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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