Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
