the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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