So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
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