if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize