On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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