The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
