He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
COCAINE IS GR8
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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