He asked to "fluff my boner.."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
