you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
