East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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