They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
