you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
