He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
