Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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