he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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