i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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