I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
