sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
