I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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