i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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