yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize