That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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