Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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