The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize