I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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