when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
