you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she smelled like a LAN party
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
