You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
