i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
