Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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