One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
