shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you're hired as official boob wrangler
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
